Looking For Comfort

I am hungry, hungry for, for, for, for?????? I guess I really am needy for something. I don't even feel like dealing with me today. I don't feel like examining myself, don't want to have to check into my real needs today. Why not??????? I am too tired?????? Too afraid of what I might find??????

Need something sweet, or something salty, don't know what I need or want. I should go right to bed a avoid hurting myself, I mean with food. I can tell I am not going to be satisfied with anything that comes out of the refrigerator of cabinet.

I know it's my emotions, flying out of control, no not out of control, but they are trying to tell me something I don't want to deal with. I JUST WANT TO EAT, EAT, EAT, CHOCOLATE AND CHIPS AND CHOCOLATE AND CHIPS.

I feel pressure to get my web site, www.kitchensavvyplus.com up and running. I feel so afraid that if this doesn't work I will be stuck in my own skin. My skin after gastric-bypass is too painful to continue to live in. I feel so lost and hurt and sad. I have such missed feelings. I do not ever want to be a cry baby but I feel like one and I want to just get on my pity pot a cry, cry for me, my body, my self esteem, my sorrow, my ego, just me me me!

I have to go. Go and cry, go and sleep. I just am going to try not to eat tonight, all night long. This is hurting me so much I can't really articulate in adult terms. My emotional state is that of a child, my little girl inside is hurting and needing me to care for her. I don't always know how to care for her but I do hear her crying out for help and I will let her cry, I won't shut her up tonight. I feel the waves in my belly starting to roll up and they are getting very powerful. I must let the waves come and deal with it.

I can do this, I must do this, I WILL DO THIS!

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, TAKE CARE OF ME.