Dealing With A Crisis

I just returned from New York City on Wednesday morning. The trip I had planned did not come to fruition. I had been anticipating a ten day visit with my 8th month old grandson, Jayson, whom I adore.

On Friday, I spoke with Daddy to say I would see him while in New York and we spoke of his health as usual. He said his hand was weak and hurting from arthritis and that he couldn't open up his soda. He also said he was not able to swallow easily as well. I told him to make sure to inform the nurse and they would inform the doctor. Well I don't know if he told anyone of his discomfort. Daddy went to sleep Friday night and didn't wake up, Saturday morning Daddy was rushed to the hospital brain dead. Daddy had been having mini strokes and heart attacks during his sleep and not even aware of these. Daddy was always afraid of death and so mercifully he just went to sleep and didn't wake up again. He actually stopped breathing on Monday morning and was declared expired.

We humans only plan events in life with hopes of realization.

Daddy lived his life his way, fast and hard. He spared himself nothing even if it was detrimental. Daddy left a mark on this would. He was a man of passion and great generosity. Daddy fathered 11 children. Lived to see 25 grandchildren, who loved him and adored him and who had the best grandfather ever. He also has 40 great-grandchildren who will know of him for generations to come.

I am finding it most difficult at this time to control my compulsion to eat constantly. I need to take out the food steamer and steam myself at new easy meals as as to have handy good, nutritious meals on hand. I must also reach out to my wonderful friends and stop trying to be superwoman and allow my grieving process to begin.